Congrats to ADDTF for one solid year of reading comics naked.

Also, welcome back ADD and In Sequence.

Did I miss anyone?

 
New Appetites



Jughead

"Forsythe P. Jones
With the smirk across your lips
You think you're fooling everybody
But you are not so easy to decipher
Are you?
You are creative, and brilliantly
Different...you make me
Stop to think about things.
Someday, perhaps you'll understand
Who you are."

Poetry by Paz.

The last time I was at my girlfriend's place, I grabbed a handful of our shared Archie digests for reference for this column. As I was about to step out the door with my random selections, she pushed Jughead with Archie No. 74 on me, saying that it was important that I share one particularly strange story with the world. Who am I to argue with such a demand?

The five-pager Call Me Irresistible reads like the middle of one of those rare multi-part Archie adventures. It starts with Archie and Jughead walking toward Jughead's house, with his parents looking on in concern. They get Archie alone while Jughead makes a phone call. To Cheryl. Archie and Jughead's parents discuss Jughead's recent unbelievable behaviour. He likes girls now. And girls like him back. In fact, Jughead has become an even bigger flirt than Archie, arranging multiple dates with different girls on the same day.

Is this some sort of ploy to get free hamburgers? A plot against Reggie? The effects of a diabolical C.R.U.S.H. mind control device? Who knows? The story ends with Jughead heading out on the town for some hugging, or dry humping, or whatever those Riverdale kids get up to. I figured that at least a few people wouldn't believe me, so here's the final panel. See? "The End".



Also of interest is Archie's theory as to why this has occured.

"He says he was watching a space show on TV! Suddenly he was bombarded with flashing lights, weird sounds, strange sensations!"

I can't remember a single incident where a major plot point such as this took place off-screen. It's altogether to subtle for an Archie comic.

Now, I'm not a real stickler for continuity, especially when it comes to Archie comics. But how can you have comics' greatest misogynist change his tune with almost no explanation and not resolve it before story's end. In fact, later in the same digest there's a story called Going My Way where Jughead and Archie have an exchange concerning their different vices.



Everytime I read Call Me Irresistible, I always take a moment to glance over the stories immediately before and after, just to see if there was something I missed. I must have done this a dozen times, and despite knowing that there is no explanation forthcoming, I will continue to check for it until my dying day.

Damn you, Archie Comics! Damn you to Hell!

Fun Archie Fact! - We all know Betty has a diary, but were you aware that Jughead has his own Livejournal? Befitting his contempt for even the simplest labour, there are only two entries from over a year ago.

Happily, we can learn more about Juggie through his interests. It goes without saying that he lists Archie, Betty, Veronica, Reggie and other members of his inner circle, but it's nice that he included Midge, Moose, Jelly Bean, Dilton, Chuck, his teachers and even Ethel! Surprisingly, despite being a skateboard-toting punk rocker back in the day, his musical tastes veer towards the conventional, with the Barenaked Ladies and the Beatles.

What, couldn't remember Pop Tate's name so you had to list the Chocklit Shop instead? The man is like a father to you! Where's Hot Dog? Why Quizes (sic)? Snowboarding? Soccer? I'm beginning to think this isn't Jughead's Livejournal after all.
posted by Steven at 2:53 PM